life so changed

an update post…

• money needed—working hard to find bookkeeping clients and making progress

• my next major writing project is to publish two ebooks that have been rattling around on my hard drive for years

• cannot do the above, both of which involve lots of screen time, and continue to blog and read other bloggers… my eyestrain gets too severe!

• the posts already here make for a nice body of work and I hope they bring you enjoyment

• miss you all and hope you are having lovely summers (or, in the southern hemisphere, a great winter)

• if you get a chance, check out info I believe is critically important to our common future: www.geoengineeringwatch.org 

 

accidentally cut my pericardium meridian, badly, august 2003

my heart
beat differently
in the days after

what I tore open
became
an instructive gash
fractal of love

before that sudden cut
I had wandered
always in fire
and no true heart
caressed my blood
that was the season

of my barren heart

now
an injury
I don’t know how

brought me water

now dreams could gel
into form’s fullness

dreams of
the zinnia’s stout mandala
the loon’s flutter-call
the hurricane’s ordered power
the butterfly’s punctuation
of air
the tree’s sidewalk-splitting growth

dreams of
the porcupine’s infective spines
the vulture’s telling circles
the mud’s layer of slime
the flies’ ecstatic swarming
of dog shit
the landfill’s long methane fart

How am I
to lay my treasure
at this world’s feet?

creature, creative

“The word ‘creative’ shares its etymology with the word ‘creature,’ and carries a similar sense of breathing aliveness, of an active, fine-grained, and multicellular making.” —Jane Hirshfield, Ten Windows: How Great Poems Transform the World, Alfred A. Knopf, New York 2015, pg. 3.

after receiving acupuncture for my lung

I.

I wake from a dream
buying gerbera daisies
to place in a vase
the dream has convinced me I own—

since I’ve moved
I no longer know where anything hides
in the heavy, cluttered boxes
crowding closets

perpetual loss, that’s what fills those boxes
and I resent my partner
for pulling me here
and that reminds me

with a sudden catch of breath, how

very soon after
I was born
all the beauty I had ever known
faded

into endless, sterile white

I catch glimpses
now and then
of the place that came before—
yesterday—

when the needle punctured the skin
where that toe meets my sole

“For your lungs,” the healer said
and indeed, in an instant waking dream
floated
the filigree coral
suffused with softest red
of my lung
nothing less than

life’s tenuous perfection

and now the morning of the vase, here and then gone,
tells me that held in the pulse of air and blood

is a lace of remembrance

my first days here
the shock and grief
of the move—

my grief, which has been so precious to me,
for its waters
could anytime have been my river back,
back to the place before—
through drowning
in phlegm’s embrace
I would have gone many times
gladly, gladly

I would have gone
gladly, gladly

had not some faint sound
pulled me
the other way

I still do not understand that direction
all I know is—
ahead of me
the river now has shores

II.

shores of shimmering sound
embankments of my heart
reason to stay

I don’t remember sound
in that other place
not quite like ours, anyway

I was ready to play, I was ready
to throb

a wrap

move sawhorse to garage
pile long logs away from house
cold—body wants rest

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I find the dance between myself and nature endlessly fascinating and instructive. Out of loyalty to nature, I invite you to find out more about the practice of climate engineering, which is widely interfering with natural cycles: www.geoengineeringwatch.org.

sunday

windows snow-laden
in wind, corps de ballet swirl
my day to be still

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My favorite video of falling snow features Tori Amos’ song “Winter”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0nX_oXNnm

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Did you know that much of the snow falling on us nowadays is created through a process called “chemical nucleation”? The chemicals used aren’t good for us or the biosphere. You can find out more at www.geoengineeringwatch.org.

synchronicity

bird and my eyes turn
plus sun and feather combine
unearthly white flash

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These small moments with such huge import are part of what keeps me enthralled with nature. It’s because of my love for nature that I encourage you to visit www.geoengineeringwatch.org.